Friday, January 16, 2009

Last BD Excerpt

Okay dudes, here it is, the last excerpt I'm going to post before ABNA. I finished re-writing Beautiful Disruption today and now I am going to take a few days break while I read a friend's ABNA and while he reads mine. Then I will plunge into editing BD for the millionth time before the contest actually begins. I would write more but my cat has decided to stretch out on top of my keyboard, obstructing my typing space with her feet.

Go over to Sarah's blog and read her excerpt from Empyrean. It's a highly entertaining story and I'm hoping she'll enter it into ABNA.

Anyway, here is the excerpt and I think this is a fun scene. Enjoy!

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After a few minutes, a group of guys walked out of the club to grab a smoke. Andria poised her stance flirtatiously and stared at one guy in particular. He caught her gaze in the midst of lighting his cigarette and stopped dead. His eyes appraised her short jean skirt and silky tank top, which clung to her body perfectly.

She beckoned him over with her poise and one motion of a finger. That was all it took.

He took the cigarette out of his mouth and threw it on the ground, jamming the lighter in his buddy’s chest. His friends watched him walk toward her and then they began to hoot and holler.

“Wanna take a walk?” Andria asked him.

“Yes,” he responded.

She took his hand in hers, leading him towards the parking lot.

“Which car is yours?” She asked, giving him a mischievous smile.

All he could do was point.

She made her way to where he pointed, still dragging him along. Upon making it to the car, she leaned against the passenger door and pulled him close to her, her eyes locking into his.

“I’m sorry to steal you away from your friends, but you looked like you could use a little excitement.” She said to make sure her hold on his mind was strong.

“I don’t mind. I’d like some excitement.” He said in reply, obviously entranced.

She leaned in toward the guy and around the side of his face. She breathed lightly, yet seductively, in his ear. It worked.

He grabbed her waist and pulled her even tighter to his body. “The backseat is big enough,” he said, obviously from experience.

“Okay.” She said, that being her initial plan, yet for different reasons.

He opened the car and was in the backseat before she could even turn around. She crawled in after him, taking her delicate time to keep his mind focused. She closed the door behind her and sat next to him, her body angled toward his.

Abruptly, he leaned in to kiss her, but she caught his face. Instead, she smiled at him and ducked her head once more to blow in his right ear, completely scattering any thoughts of reality. Then she slowly moved her lips down his jaw line and to his throat.

His pulse was escalating in anticipation and so was hers.

She cradled the other side of his face with her right hand and once more lightly skimmed the side of his neck with her lips.

The anticipation wearing off, her fangs extended and she easily bit into the nearly exposed vein in his neck and at once felt the intense aroma of human blood flowing over every inch of her body.

He moaned in pleasure, his body completely at her will. His blood flowed in her mouth like life water, fulfilling her need and desire. She took her time in the moment, knowing his friends weren’t expecting him back any time soon, if at all. But she knew he had to go back, eventually. She wasn’t a murderer, but she had needs to fulfill. Then again, this wasn’t a full meal, just a perk to an experiment.

Minutes passed and she was beginning to feel the satisfaction, her pulse slowing. She lifted her head away from the side of his neck and licked the puncture closed. He moaned in delight once more.

Sliding her tongue across her lower lip, she did away with any leftovers and her horror-movie fangs. He looked at her with an endorphin-induced smile. She smiled back, knowing he was utterly seduced.Exiting the car together, they went their separate ways.

2 comments:

  1. Wow that sounded really great! The third person works really well too - good idea/choice.

    My teacher said it was good.. and amazing for a 13-year-old too :P. But on the pages there's about.. maybe 14 things he corrected. Now that I'm changing it on my copy it's so hard not to edit and add in parts.

    Hopefully on Monday he'll have more pages finished or something. If he does I'm gunna mention the Amazon thing (I never got around to it earlier).

    Anyways, great story. Hope it goes far (furthest)in the ABNA.. (which sounds a lot like NBA's... and since I don't follow sports at all I have no clue what that is).

    Awesome.

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  2. great scene... I enjoyed it! =)
    good luck in the ANBA contest... I hope BD goes far in it!

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