Saturday, April 18, 2009

My Brain is Turning to Mush Thanks to the World We All Know as Crap

WARNING Professor Hinnen, please do not continue reading because this post may contain English 3372 bashing.

Think about it. One of my professors "follows" my blog because, well, it's a computer class. So pretty much I have posted nothing this semester because of said horrendous computer class that I am about to wish a horrible death. Not only do I have way too much homework this semester, I also have a job. A fantastic job at that. The job I will have when I graduate (although definitely a higher position by then, as well as the possibility of running my boss's website and co-writing his books). Now, I adore said job and would enjoy nothing more than being able to give my all to the cause I very much believe in: Corrective Chiropractic. With that said, let me explain why I am so frustrated this semester.

1) Computers and Writing sucks
I loved the proposed idea for the class when I signed up. I didn't need to take this class, but it sounded like a fun way to get my computer credit accomplished. Boy was I wrong. The first month I was in heaven ... now I'm in Hell. Not only was the reading material complete crap, but we never got to work on our projects in class as promised. Oh and the small fact that most of our assignments have been to make web pages. I love web design like I love writing. I do not like designing a web page when I don't have the proper software. We were expected to do the assignments in class, yet were never given time to work on it. We were expected to come up to the computer lab to use the program if we didn't get the assignments finished in class. I live so freaking far from the school. We had the option to dl the software and use it at home. Great! The damn trial version ends in 30 days and the program costs $300! Hell no. And now we get to make our own page in the class wiki. Stupid I'm not giving my entire paycheck to UTA just so that someone can ruin my grade by editing my page. Ridiculous

2) History of World Lit sucks
I thought the professor was really cool the first week of class. All we have to do is read the assignment, take a quiz (sometimes) and do additional reading for reading logs. Easy. Not! The readings suck, the quizzes are easy, the readings put me to sleep, the reading log grading system sucks, the readings make me want to shoot myself. Need I say more?

3) Structures of the English Language sucks
I thought, "Easy as pie. I can diagram sentences." Wrong. Talk about math with words. I like math, sure, no problem with me, if they are numbers and letters, not entire words!

4&5) Latin sucks
Now, I say four and five because Latin 3&4 are intensive, which means I'm taking two classes in one instead them being split into different semesters. I love Latin as a language, but the homework required is ridiculously over the top. I love my professor, the professor I have had for a year now. He is awesome and inspiring and I have never had a professor that can meet his standards as far as a role model goes. If I didn't work, I wouldn't mind doing the homework because I would be slightly bored anyway. But I do work, so the homework sucks.

All-in-all, this semester sucks.

Three more weeks. Finally.

Oh and not to mention that my writing is taking the entire weight of all this dumb ass crap I have to do for no reason at all. Uni curriculum sucks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Maybe you should quit blogging and venting and do your homework." Screw you. Blogging is very important to me. Without it my writing would suffer and I wouldn't have awesome net-friends like Rochelle and Sarah. If it's so important to you then you quit reading this post.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Whoever Said College is Awesome Really Needs to Rethink Their Words Before I Hit Them in the Face

I haven't update in forever ... I know ... I suck. It's this damn thing I've heard of called college. You know, I go every MWF yet I never seem to get anything out of it. I'm constantly throwing my entire paycheck at them, but I'm starting to think that they are just stealing it each month and slipping off to Mexico and sipping Mai Tais at some fancy beach-front resort. Who freaking knows. I'm just sick of it, all of it. Two more semesters and I'm freaking done, finished, thefreakingend. Actually, I'll probably get my Masters. Crap.

I found this fantastic site today (www.ninjapirate.com) and you really need to check it out. Caution: high exposure to foul language, rape references, and sexual speech. Please do not view if any of that might offend you. Actually, if that's the case, then you probably should be introduced to it. Dive right in! Oh and give it a chance before you judge. His humor is phenomenal.

I haven't written anything in forever, but I did manage to get down a good little scene the other day. Wait. That didn't make sense. What I'm trying to say is that I was ridiculously bored in Lit class last week so I wrote actual interesting literature called A Scene From The Great Funnel. You know, that one book I'm writing. Yes. That one.

Warning: I still have not decided on "Satan's" name. Yes. His name could be Satan. But I'm trying not to conform to one belief. I'm making up my own names/titles/things/crap. The point is, ignore the little writer's notes (my notes). You'll know what I'm talking about.

At this point in the story, Matthew (MC) and Hannah (the dead girl he can see) have just been summoned into Hell for the first time by Devastation (the Demon Keeper boss).

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“Get behind me,” I said. But she didn’t move, so I put a hand behind me and shoved her out of sight of Devastation.

“It does not matter where she stands. I can see through you if I so choose. Surely you remember the power of being a Keeper,” Devastation spoke with elegant, yet frightening tones.

I shuffled my feet a little bit, wondering how much I still could not remember about my former life. I hated surprises, especially when the surprise was appearing in Hell. Apparently Hannah saw my nervous shuffle because she grasped onto my hand and squeezed it tight. It worked; my courage resurfaced and I lifted my head to look the demon square in his black eyes.

“You called me here. What do you want?” I asked.

His black eyes rolled back in their sockets and then resurfaced. “The [Satan’s name] has asked me to call you here because The Funnel needs your guidance.”

Hannah let out a giggle, but when I squeezed her hand the giggle turned into a cough.

Devastation’s jaw set firm in its position before he spoke, “This is the lone instance in which I agree with you, Spirit. I do not agree with the decision to employ a human to do this task, but the [Satan’s name] has commanded otherwise. I do not defy him.”

“So, if I am a mere human, why am I here?” I asked.

“Am I to understand that you do not recall your past life?” Devastation was surprised.

“Not all of it,” I answered.

With his jaw still set firm, he sighed heavily as his black eyes rolled back in their sockets again. When they resurfaced, his jaw slackened. “Rain,” he said harshly. After he spoke, another demon walked gracefully over to us and stood in front of Devastation with his hands behind his back and his head held high. “Bring me the book.”

Rain gave a slight bow of his head and walked away, only to disappear into thin air. A moment later, Rain reappeared holding a huge, black, leather bound book that looked as if it had been around for centuries. He walked back to Devastation and handed him the black book with a bow of his head. Before walking away, Rain looked at the book one last time as if he might never see it again, as if it were something to be treasured.

“This,” Devastation began, “is the Book of the Keepers. It holds all knowledge of past, present, and future Keepers. Some have turned out to be merely legends and myths, but most stand true to their foretelling. Yours, on the other hand,” he gave me a sharp look, “is beyond description.”

The demon boss hesitantly handed me the Book of the Keepers. I thought it would be heavy; I was right. As soon as he completely handed off the Book, I sunk under its weight and almost fell over. Hannah managed to catch me.