Perfect Insanity

I felt them as they stepped onto the driveway and made their way up. Marcus was the first to enter and Robert the last with the girls in between. I heard Robert take the effort to shut the front door quietly behind him, probably resisting the urge to tear it off the hinges.

“What are you doing?” Marcus asked me in anger as they all filed into my room.

I looked around the room as if I were confused, even though I knew exactly what he was talking about.

“I’m lying down,” I said.

Sarah laughed for a split second before Marcus glared it out of her.

“What the hell were you doing with a human?” Marcus said.

“What did it look like? I was eating lunch.” I said.

I knew I was being a total bee-atch because I had every clue as to what was going on and why everyone was pissed, but at the same time I was using the attitude as a safe guard. I didn’t want their fangs to come out and go all slasher-movie on me.

“This would be different if your intentions were similar to Sarah’s, but I know they aren’t. The way you looked at him followed by all the blushing confirmed my judgment. You know what happens when the secret is exposed. Is that what you want Andi?” Marcus said, his entire body quivering with rage.

“I’m not going to tell anybody anything about us. Just chill out and let me live my life the way I want to. Is that so hard Marcus? Or are you just so used to controlling everything?” I countered.

I was on my feet now, standing in the middle of the mattress. My fists were clenched at my sides. My temper was rising and I couldn’t bring it down. I hardly ever stood up to Marcus about anything, but this wasn’t just anything. This was my future, my happiness. He didn’t understand and wouldn’t understand. Marcus hated humans and I knew deep down that there was nothing I could do to make him see my side.

“I don’t control everything! I know what’s best for all of us, what’s best for what we are. I can’t believe – “

I stopped listening to Marcus and thought of Robert and how he had been quiet the entire time Marcus was chastising me and how he hadn’t spoken up at lunch; his aura had spoken enough. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I faced Robert and realized he hadn’t moved the entire time either. He continued to lean against the wall, glaring at me in disbelief.

“Hold on Marcus.” I interrupted him. “Robert, say what you need to say.”

Robert took a deep breath, hesitated as if he was deciding whether or not to speak up, and walked toward me and away from the wall.

“I had no idea that when you said you were drawn to him that it meant you were going to do something about it.” He said. His voice would have been quiet to a human and it held a slight portion of annoyance and even more disappointment.

“What? Robert you knew about this?” Marcus said, shocked.

He didn’t answer Marcus, but continued to stare at me, pleading in his voice.

“What about your ‘paradise’? You’re always telling me how you can’t stand being around humans more than necessary. We all know that you wear your earphones for a reason. You’re afraid of what might happen. Don’t you think that putting yourself in this situation with this human that you’re going against all of that?” Robert asked.

“I’m doing away with paradise. After being with Evan today, I’m choosing a future guided by bloodlust. Sure his blood calls to me like it does with any human, but he’s not just any human to me. Marcus, I don’t expect you to understand, but Robert I thought you might. At the very least I didn’t expect you to act like this. We’ve been best friends for a long time. Can’t you just be happy for me?” I said.

Marcus scowled in disgust.

“Marcus,” I turned on him, “If you think you can restore the crucial pieces missing from my brain, because you obviously think I’ve lost my mind, then by all means, go ahead. But I don’t think this is that simple. I feel like I’m going insane when I’m not around him, but I can’t do anything about it. He’s the only remedy.” I said in earnest for them to understand.

Sarah came alive at my words.

“Marcus, Robert, you need to leave. Honestly, I don’t see how this even concerns you. It may not concern me or Kelley either but at least we understand the emotional side.” She said.

Robert looked at Marcus and shook his head, stopping Marcus from acting out any more of his rage.

“I’m eating with him again tomorrow by the way,” I told the guys, “so don’t freak out again when you see us.”

Marcus was already out the door before I had finished. He was still too angry to care about anything I said. Before Robert left he looked back at me one final time, anguish flowing in his eyes. I heard him shut the front door quietly behind him leaving me with feelings of shame and torment.

“Thanks Sarah,” I said.

We all fell onto my bed and Sarah started laughing.

“Dude, what’s so funny? He almost ripped my heart out.” I said raising an eyebrow.

“Did you see Marcus’ face? He was about to flip shit.” Sarah said still laughing.

“I think he was flipping shit. If that’s not flipping shit then I don’t know what is.” I said.

“I don’t think he should have been so hard on you,” Kelley chimed in.

This entire time I had forgotten she was even there. How could she have been so quiet? Surely this was a desperate time which called for opinions.

“What do you think about this entire thing Kelley?” I asked.

“You really want my opinion?” Kelley said.

I propped myself up on my right elbow to look at her and I felt Sarah do the same behind me.

“Yes,” I said.

“I think the guys should be more understanding even though I know they won’t be. Like you told Marcus, it’s your life and you deserve to be happy. If this human makes you happy then pursue that bliss. Don’t let Marcus rule your intentions.” She said.

“I agree,” Sarah said nodding.

I laid back down, arms under my head.

“I do too. It’s not Marcus that gets me, it’s Robert. I don’t want to run him out of my life. He’s always been there for me in the past and I feel as if I owe him something for it and that something is my devoted friendship.” I said.

They nodded in agreement.

“So the thing that was my mind is now gone; where did it go and why?” I said.

“It’s still there, but it’s making room for …” Kelley said in search of a name.

“Evan,” I finished for her.

I sighed. When did my life become this complicated?

“Here,” Sarah said pulling her bag onto her lap. “This will make you feel better.”

She handed Kelley and I each a bag of blood and smiled.

“Mmmm, my favorite,” she said.

I couldn’t help but laughing. If Evan were to see this, what would he think? The three of us sat there chatting about who knows what and sipping our pouches of blood until my mom came home.